Boundaries might seem fairly easy to stand by. However, those with addiction and their loved ones often find it difficult to maintain boundaries in addiction recovery. Whether you’re undergoing recovery yourself or have a loved one who is, setting boundaries can be crucial to the success of the journey. Here’s how to get started setting boundaries and sticking to them.
Understanding Boundaries in Addiction Recovery
Boundaries are limits that we set for ourselves and others in order to maintain healthy relationships and take care of our own well-being. In addiction recovery, boundaries become especially important as they help us do things like:
- Prioritize our mental and physical health
- Avoid enabling unhealthy behaviors
- Build trust with loved ones
- Maintain a positive support system
While boundaries are important for anyone, they are particularly critical for those in addiction recovery. As a person recovering from addiction, setting and maintaining boundaries can help you stay on track with your sobriety goals and avoid potential triggers or negative influences. As someone who has a loved one in addiction recovery, it’s important to both set boundaries and follow any boundaries your loved one has set as well.
Types of Boundaries To Set in Recovery
There are different types of boundaries that can be set in addiction recovery, depending on your goals and priorities. Some of the most common include:
- Time boundaries: Addiction recovery is hectic, and can be jam packed full of treatment, outpatient therapy, support group meetings, and more. Setting time boundaries can help you prioritize your recovery activities and ensure that you have enough personal time for self-care. If someone wants to invite you out for a late night party, for example, it’s perfectly fine to decline and stick to your regular routine.
- Physical boundaries: No means no, especially when it comes to physical boundaries. If someone is pressuring you to engage in activities or behaviors that go against your values and sobriety, it’s important to stand firm and draw clear lines.
- Emotional boundaries: In addiction recovery, it can be easy to get caught up in the emotions of others and take on responsibilities that are not yours. Understand that you are not responsible for anyone else’s feelings or actions, and it’s okay to set emotional boundaries in order to protect your own mental health. This type of boundary is especially important for people with loved ones with addiction, who might give in to guilt or manipulation tactics.
- Financial boundaries: Financial stability is crucial for maintaining sobriety and avoiding potential triggers. It’s important to set boundaries around your finances, whether it’s not lending money to people who might use it for drugs or alcohol, or sticking to a strict budget for yourself. If you don’t feel secure having access to your own money, consider setting up a joint account with a trusted friend or family member who can help you manage your finances.
- Relationship boundaries: Addiction recovery can require making difficult decisions about relationships. It’s important to set boundaries in order to protect yourself and your sobriety. This may mean limiting contact with people who are still using substances, or ending toxic relationships altogether. It can also involve setting clear expectations and communication with loved ones about what support looks like for you during this time.
How To Enforce Boundaries in Addiction Recovery
These boundaries are just the tip of the iceberg for people in recovery. Boundaries can be as varied or as specific as needed, depending on what you need, prioritize, and value. While setting boundaries is one thing, sticking to them and enforcing them is another challenge entirely. Here are some tips for effectively enforcing boundaries in addiction recovery.
Be Consistent
Boundaries are only effective if they are consistently enforced. If you set a boundary, but then give into guilt or pressure and allow someone to cross it, the boundary loses its power.
It can be difficult to stick with a boundary, especially if you’ve never done so. That’s why you need to take every opportunity to enforce your boundaries so it becomes second nature to you. Remember, habits form in as little as 10 weeks with continual practice. Even if it feels difficult, stick to your boundaries and communicate them clearly and consistently.
Communicate Clearly
Boundaries can only be effective if they are communicated clearly. This means being assertive and direct in expressing what you need, without apology or explanation. Remember, your boundaries are not up for debate or negotiation. They are essential for your well-being and should be treated as a priority.
Effective communication, like all things, can be learned with practice. If you’re not used to expressing yourself clearly, try using “I” statements and framing your responses more assertively. For instance, let’s say your boss asks you to work overtime, but you know this often leads to stress that can trigger a relapse.
Instead of saying, “I don’t think I can work overtime tonight”, which leaves room for negotiation or guilt-tripping, try saying, “I am not able to work overtime tonight. My well-being are my top priorities.” By using assertive language and emphasizing your priorities, you are less likely to be swayed or feel guilty.
Have Support
Enforcing boundaries can be challenging, especially if you have a history of codependency or enabling behaviors. It’s important to have support from loved ones and others who understand the importance of boundaries in maintaining sobriety.
A sponsor can be a good resource if you need someone to help you practice setting and maintaining boundaries. They can also offer valuable insights as you learn to prioritize yourself during recovery.
Revisit and Reassess
Boundaries are not set in stone. As you continue to grow and evolve in your recovery journey, it’s important to regularly check in with yourself about whether your boundaries are still serving their purpose.
If you find that certain boundaries are no longer necessary, such as completely staying away from social gatherings, it’s okay to reassess and adjust accordingly. As long as you are prioritizing your well-being and communicating effectively, making changes to your boundaries is a healthy part of personal growth.
Get Help Growing and Recovering
Setting and maintaining boundaries is only a small part of the addiction recovery journey. At SEE Purpose, our drug & alcohol rehab in Bloomfield, Indiana, is excited to guide you in the right direction for healing.
We offer a range of services, from inpatient treatment and detoxification to aftercare support. Our experienced team is dedicated to helping you find sustainable recovery and achieve long-term success. Call us today to explore our many therapeutic interventions, residential programs, and more. With the right support and resources, you can learn to set healthy boundaries, prioritize your well-being, and build a fulfilling life in recovery.
